I hate metaphors in titles like a dog hate cheese

I don't actually know whether dogs hate cheese, and seeing how much our Shih-Tzu Lucy loved pizza when she was younger, I doubt that that statement is true. It's also not even a metaphor, so my attempt at dramatic irony is ruined.

However, that doesn't detract from the veracity of my opinion--consider the Time Magazine blog post I linked to:

http://china.blogs.time.com/2009/02/27/asia-braces-for-spike-in-suicides/

I think it's pretty obvious why I hate metaphors. Asia "braces" for a spike in suicides? Really? Do you see millions of Chinese and Koreans and Thai people holding on to door frames and table ends awaiting the onslaught of suicides by their family and friends? It's not a fucking earthquake, is it.

No, people won't be "bracing" for anything, nor will Asia, which is just a geological entity with borders determined arbitrarily by man. How about anticipate? Or just await? Or even "anxious in expectation of"? Please, leave the metaphors out of the news.